Don't Go Into the Light!

The main light in the sitting room has posed a problem for me since the beginning. One out of three bulbs was working, though when I bought replacements I discovered some sort of corrosion over one of the fittings and the other bulb wouldn't budge. The landlord made it a condition of his repainting the place (something he hasn't done) that I replace the light. I have and tonight I set about installing the new fixture. Of course, as I set to work I realised it would be wise to wash the glass fittings before putting it out of reach, so time passed. And it passed. And though I got the lamp attached I wasn't happy with how it fitted against the ceiling, or didn't as the case may be. So down it came and more fiddling. By the time I finally was attaching the wires (and I will not outline the many fears messing with a 'live' wire has for me, even with the electricity mains off) the darkness was closing in. I realised I was in danger when I was attaching the neutral wire to the live connection; not wise. Then the screwdriver kept falling, my hand got cramps, the ceiling refused to rest against the fitting as snugly as I wished, the fire alarm suddenly took to beeping, the DARKNESS WAS FALLING! Ultimately I left things as well as I could get them and turned the mains on to tremendous applause. I took off my drawers. No, kidding. I took a look at the old lamp and discovered a.) te bulb that wouldn't budge now would, and b.) the corrosion was actually part of the remains of a bulb someone had left in the fitting. Once I removed that the old lamp was as new and a new lamp was born (me). Still the new light is nice. And did I mention one of the bulbs is dead?

If anyone's interested Nigel Place will be supporting Declan O'Rourke in The Academy at 7pm this Thursday. Tickets are nearly gone, with standing room only, so run, Forrest, run!