The Candyman Can!

So the law was changed just for Woods! Great when you (yes, YOU, Cowen, you bulbous bag of bullying 'bon homie') can change a country's laws to help out a buddy! And then of course, there's everyones' favourite, Bertie, with his €38,000 pay hike. The under-the-floorboards stash must be running low. So what's that now? €310,000! Let's hope he has a bank account set up now though, in case of any future misunderstandings.

(And what of that under-the-mountain phantom army, the Greens? Have they deserted Middle Earth again?????????)

You know, Bertie's troubles might all be because of the ghost, I mean THE ghost (C.J.H., don't say it too loud, or three times in succession!). Perhaps he's been possessed! It would explain the recent bouts of memory loss, the wild gurning at the Tribunal, the sudden changes of personality from honest friend of the people to... well, okay scrap that last part. But it could be possession, if not of a Griffith Avenue property, then Bertie's soul (making the grand presumption that he has one...nah, scrap that too). Imagine his head spinning round while answering questions in the Dail! Actually that's not so unusual, come to think of it. His policies do too.

We need an exorcism! We need to call out the foul infestation! Leave our leader!!!!

C.J.H., C.J.H., C.J.H.!

No, nothing. Maybe if I stand in front of a mirror and say it five times: C.J.H., C.J.H., C.J.H., C.J.H., C.J.H....