Off the Rails

Using a drill while standing on a chair balanced on a coffee table is not going to win many health and safety awards, yet that was my clever ploy, that was, last Sunday. The curtain rail was old and unhinged, so to speak, at one end. The curtain too pretended, badly, to cover the window, but hung down in the middle. The only solution, as I saw it, in my new industrious frame of mind (ordinarily quite unnatural for me) was to replace the rail and rehang the curtain. Unfortunately the rail I got needed new holes to be drilled. With my height and no ladder, just unscrewing the old screws was an ordeal. Drilling was painful. I now have the arms of an orangutan to complement my full body hair. Despite this apelike physique, balance and dexterity at a height still did not come naturally to me. It was only after many a perilous fall was avoided (or at least taken from coffee table height), and curtain re-hooked, that I noticed the new rail was for two curtains not one and so the curtain could now only be opened half-way. To Hell with it, it will do!